Women of a bent often crave the feeling of being under their husband's active control. They want to feel that sense of deep peace and ecstasy that they get sometimes, more of the time. They want to be aware of their husband's authority and control often, not just sometimes.
That ‘thoroughly taken in hand’ feeling, that ‘just spanked’ feeling, that ‘well-handled’ feeling, that soft submissive feeling, that feeling of peacefulness and ecstasy, that feeling of floating on air, that feeling of being closely connected to him – it's powerful stuff!
But since there are many situations in which it is not possible or desirable to take drastic violent action, it is worth attuning yourself to the little things – the more subtle psychological forms of control. And if you are the husband in a relationship, it is worth finding out what else, apart from a jolly good thrashing, brings your wife into that submissive state you both love.
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So, to female readers: What little things does or could your husband do or say to take you in hand or otherwise bring you into a submissive state? And to male readers: what little things have had that effect, or might have that effect? What little things you have said or done have surprised you in having that effect? Let's make a list, for fun!
Of course these things are very individual so any list we create is going to include many ideas that would not work for most. However, I still think it would be interesting to create such a list, because people often can't think of anything that would work other than a violent thrashing, and if your in-laws are visiting or you are at a Buckingham Palace garden party or something, more subtlety and discretion might be called for. Besides, such a list could spark ideas that might suit the two of you as individuals.
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| 3. Little Ways of Taking a Woman |
When thinking about what little things do or might make a woman feel taken in hand, submissive, etc., consider your actual lives as the individuals and couple you are, and ask yourself where in your real, everyday life together could you (if you are the man) or your husband take a little more welcome control here and there. Think about what you are trying to achieve in life, both as individuals and jointly, and check that the ideas you come up with are at least consistent with those larger aims, if not actively leading in the directions you wish your lives to go. The more your control is a real, useful part of your lives together, the less likely it is to start feeling like a bit of playacting. (Not that there is anything wrong with playacting if you enjoy that! It is just a different thing.)
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If you enjoy gestures of control irrespective of whether it seems to have a purpose outside the control itself, there are lists of ideas all over the internet that you can use. But for many Taken In Hand readers many of these ideas would feel silly, pointless, disrespectful or humiliating so here, let's concentrate on listing ideas that are more directly connected with ordinary everyday life (‘non-sexual’ control than the control-for-control's-sake ideas or the ‘training’ ideas (‘erotic’ control) one can find on other sites.
If you have an idea or you have heard some ideas you would like to add to the list, click here for the database and add your ideas in the comments on that page.
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| 5. Makes her feel submissive|
Violent physical action seldom makes me feel submissive, what does make me feel submissive is when my husband is just firm with me, just tells me quietly and decisively to do this or not to do that. The tone of his voice when he does this is very sexy, and calms me down immediately, if I'm in a temper or getting worked up about something. Sometimes he can just do it with a look, and that's just as exciting. He doesn't need to get rough with me.
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